you already had me at Hello

2008-03-15T13:30:00.002+08:00

and i simply cant move my lower part of my body after yesterday.and i got to stay at home and recuperate.

''Maybe I have said too much or really haven't said enough.All these words they come undone and I'm getting lost in the meaning''

For today , i wasted today.

and it revolve around me again.

2008-02-27T00:06:00.002+08:00

never have been one to write it down.Now i think i can. i know i'm stronger now.haha.
''Sitting here wishing
The things I've become
That something is missing
Maybe I...
But what do I know
And now it seems that I have found nothing at all
I want to hear your voice out loud
Slow it down, slow it down
Without it all
I'm choking on nothing
It's clear in my head
And I'm screaming for something
Knowing nothing is better than knowing it all''

afterall, it still revolved around me. i thought i had it put behind me long time ago .

2008-02-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

And now you'll see that we've grown to change .A contradiction to the lives that we have made. Still I miss you deep inside /( i still try my luck there.)

i still feel sore about what happen today.

2008-01-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

erm , RANDOM post. haha..i'm seriously touched by their actions today .so please dont accuse me of being ungrateful. lol..and all i could say , i didnt make the wrong choice . and yes , i was wrong in the past , i was wrong in almost every desicion that i've made.i chose the wrong path , my circle of friends and yes , i'm kind of regretting now. at this very moment.maybe , time isnt on our side, and maybe all of us are too young to even know what's right , and what's wrong.and dear friends , i'm not going to make any mistakes anymore. and i know , this time round , i make the correct choice .
and i guess , i missed the happy times with my besties. and i seriously miss block-catching and basketball.everything that we do , we do it for a reason , things happen for a reason .and there is a reason behind everything . is really time , we choose what we want .

i wish i have the power to change the world.all i want is time to stop , and backtrack.
the tattoos of memories.

''The singer finished singing and she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear, her fear of falling out
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried
It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
since you've been gone, it's not the same.''

2008-01-09T00:47:00.000+08:00

As you swallow this confession and leave me with this scar .it takes another second to let me go too far.It doesn't seem to matter, any more.
I could write another letter nd never write one word. As it takes another second to remind me too.
Hours pass into minutes, kissing the seconds away,and days, they seem to melt just like your classic summers.It's come to the point where everything loses perspective...and I'm the one, my prying eyes wander west to where oceans meet gold,and you wonder why my heart, it breaks.

An interesting person indeed. if only , i didnt gave a big reaction to it. and well, i was nearly close to it. no , no , no.it wont happen . not now , not anymore.

if only you know , what i'm referring to.

2008-01-08T00:14:00.000+08:00

And it came from nothing but there was always somethingAnd when the sky burned brighter, the nights grew darker.Hold on to everyone that I hold dearest to my heart
And I won't forget them.Fading, always fading,never needed more waiting, always waiting.
Scraped across the wooden floor and the passing time reaches out and covers me with images of everyone that I have known.

and i surrender myself .

2007-08-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

I've got a bruised up heart .
But I'm still hanging out,I should take it easy
but I'm still gonna get around
There's something growing on the outside
Too much missing on the inside
Should I waste more time when everything is done and done and overdone?

2007-04-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

We all have our sob stories to tell. The only difference is whose story is sadder and who makes a better narrator.

Things don't often go as smoothly as we want them to go. Well, Shakespeare said, "the course of true love never did run smooth", didn't him? If even true love doesn't run smoothly, how can we even expect the other issues in our life to run smoothly too?

Sometimes it's better to know people at the face value, then there won't be any disappointments or expectations. The truth hurts actually, that's why I strongly believe that ignorance is bliss. Denial is good sometimes. At least, if you don't think too much, you don't know so much, it won't hurt so much.

well, had inter-class netball tdy.. was quite a good experience, though we lost, but we lost with honour.. must really say 4e6 is good lah.. ahhaha.. infact, our chances are good aslo, but somehow, things cropped up. not as smoothly as i thought it was.. hahah. i end up begging ppl to help me play. blame myself. for not joining when they ask me to. lucky, there are still KIND souls in this world, who help me join in for the sake of fun lah!! well, my class rox lah!!

hate myself for not telling it lah. well, it came too end lah.

is impossible.. i think... and i think..........i wont say it , those words shall remain unsaid. things must stay at the way it is now..

2007-01-25T18:12:00.000+08:00

alot of things happened these few days. though i wasnt feeling as good as my besties tot i would. but i still tried taking it to my stride..my bunch of besties are really WONDERFUL!! haahha...
really very happy together with them.. hahaha.. super fun!!! the best thing is.. we all ENJOY PLAYING BLOCK CATCHING!! hahahaha...

the sad thing is.. i wasnt used to be wad i am..

and so hey you go thinking " things CANT get any worst",
but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
It just did.

I can hear ticking clocks,
Running rampant in me.

it's hard to wave goodbye from aeroplanes,
when i just don't think that you can see i taper off
and say its never worth the pain, but sometimes it is.

you'll nv understand ..that's life..

Tie my hands back,
Put this rope to my neck,
And kick the chair away from under my legs.......

2007-01-21T18:34:00.001+08:00

hahah..yest went kbox with those bunch of ''good'' frens .. hahaha.. supposedly was to do the damm CIP.. hahaha.. we did.. but only for awhile.. coz we are simply too lazy for it.. and the damm thing was, they actually gave us 2 bucks for refreshment.. i was thinking, if they can afford to give ach of us 2 bucks for refreshment, y bother to ask for donation in the first place..

hahaha.. early in the morning, went to eat at mac and talk rubbish with the ''rockers'' hahahha.. damm stupid.. somemore , stick stickers all over their shirt and they looked like IDOITS .. hahaha... wad to do.. in the end, we went our separate ways, dunno y aslo..

in the end went to kbox to slack , after which went to crystal jade with my FAMILY!! hahaha.. hahaha..

realised something. i'm getting worst at typing. my fingers seems to be trembling alot man.. maybe i didnt type for long, and my speed was like super slow slow.. hahha..

tdy , didnt really do much. went to compass. as usual.. was expecting a msg from someone, den started msging for about an hour, and the msging cease .. just as i expected... ....

i used to know the sound of a smile in your voice,
but right now all i feel,
is the pain of the fighting starting off again

you know the things we talk about
,you know they stay on my mind.

2007-01-11T21:42:00.000+08:00

2007-01-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

ive realised that ive been ignorant to alot of stuff thats been going on.while ive been sitting ard at home,listening to songs.
the world goes on.

sighs~..somehow, wasnt feeling good.. it has been long since i felt good. couldnt rmb the last time that i'm really happy.. there isnt any thing that could make me feel happy again. i guess so..
as i mention in my few post that,i actually did smth that i shldnt be doing at all. but since i did it, i have no choice but to bear the torment now..

Bitter sweet migraine in my head...................
i dunno laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.........

So i shall put a disclaimer note:
Everything said on the above has nothing to do with anyone,
its purely fictional and coincidental.

You've got the best of my heartIt broke and now it's just a joke...

2007-01-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of sleeping with the covers over my head,
Wishing the dreaded night would end.
dreaded days drag on,w
hite daisies by my window,
the night skies fill with stars that i never fail to compared them to Your eyes.

tattoos of memories~

2007-01-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

i used to know the sound of a smile in your voice,
but right now all i feel,
is the pain of the fighting starting off again
you know the things we talk about,
you know they stay on my mind.

tdy went to raffles hotel to celebrate my niece birthday.. wow! the lunch was suoer nice .. eat till i nearly can vomit.. and mind you, is a 6 star hotel.. is located near bugis there... oh man! .. how i wish my birthday lunch will be there... hahaha.. i waiting for it..
though tdy, i tried not to do THIS THING, but once again, i did the things that i shouldnt be doing at all. i did mention in my last post that, i will not do this anymore. i make it clear that it was the last time i'm going to do it, but , somehow, i did it again. oh SHUCKS! how could i!!!..

i couldnt stop my fingers at all.. and somehow, i'm kind of regretting now.. how am i going to face it?? think tdy was the worst day for me. couldnt understand wad the bloody hell i'm doind at all. all the things that i'm doing now, is super super wrong..

i'm not used being myself now.. somehow, i feel super lost. it seems that i cant forget anything at all..

as strong as a cactus in the desert,
but when it all boils down to this,
i'm like a small little flower.
in the path of a incoming hurricane.

You know how i can never be too sure about anything...

inflicted pain.

2007-01-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

too strong, for too long.

changed coke into pepsi!
"well done then.
You took this heart and made it a little colder,
a little stronger,
a little less for You.
Someday, perhaps I'd be just like You.
Write me a ransom letter,
And allow me,
to write You a deathnote.

somehow, yset i was out of my mind.i did something that i shouldnt be doing at all..

i didnt expect things to come out of it .. it didnt anyway...

bdbs

2007-01-06T19:57:00.000+08:00

yest went celebrating baby xin yi birthday . though it was very fun and happy, but somehow i'm being reminded of the past....

the clock never felt so alive

The hand of my clock strikes two.
In times when I got the best of you
i made promises i couldn't keep
And every night i couldn't sleep.
I didn't know why, but didn't ask questions
because it was the first time in my life, yes the first time in my life
Where I, did something right.
i miss You.

sch started and many things happening in sch was really very unexpected.. many things around me change,which makes me couldnt accept in the first place. i couldnt imagine myself being back in the sch, studying and most importantly, mugging for o level examinations.

i couldnt make up my mind towards certain things and i'm left regretting for my rest of my life.. realised that i'm so bloody fuck up with myself .. hate myself for being so indecisive in the past. no matter, how i change now, things wont be the same anymore.. tried forgetting the past but recently, i realised i couldnt forget at all...

2006-12-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

it doesn't matter anyway.

Not that strong,
Never thought that i would
,the way i do.

The silence that triggers insecurity.

2006-12-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

So, go past all the lights and excuse,
" Don't forget me." " I won't remember anything else."

this wretched mind

i'm tired.

how are u?

2006-11-26T01:34:00.000+08:00

so tired man. was watching channel 62 and this LORRAIN came to disturb me.. haiyor..watch halfway lorr.. went to eat supper with siya at serangoon there .. haha.. we eat curry fish head, and she actually ate 2 bowls of rice, i was like, impressed and amazed by her HUGE appetite .. i just sat down to watch tv and msg started to come.. too busy to continue watching show, coz i'm busy replying.. actuallyi have no intention to come online.. but a problem arise..

Walk past my grave in the dark tonight,
Saw the stone and the note you left for me,to answer your question
I just had to leave,
I just had to leave,

i tried doing something that i didnt did before.. and this thing cause me to lose something really really important.. and the sad thing is , i didnt said anything.. things carried on...

blogging, blogging and blogging.. is there anyone really reading it?? YOU?? haha...

2006-11-25T10:54:00.000+08:00

it just a fragment of my imagination.
Too little, too late.

nothing has change so far..

2006-11-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

Today,
My obituary appeared on the newspaper,And You hit the headlines for being my murderer.

2006-11-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

....no it isn't.
maybe i was wrong, this could be too much for me.
there's no more sense of completion.
all i felt today was this sense of emptiness.
burn these unsent letters,
it doesnt mean shit to You.
turn your back to me,
i cant afford to get lost in those sleepy eyes,
yet again.and hear your voice of treason

sick of blogging.... haha... think i cannot stand LORRAIN CHAI lorr.. hahas.. that day she cried man! i was totally shocked and stunned! .. it so unbelievable that she cried that day! hahah... but come to think to it, the person who scolded her was too much man.. she is such a shrew! lucky she didnt scold me , if not i think i will CRY EVEN MORE MISERABLE THAN LORRAIN CHAI! lol.. haha..i 'm such a SIMPLISTIC PERSON, doubt any one will scold me! haha... she is so in sufferable . doubt any one can stand her..

see! lorrain, i have spoken up for you lorr.. haha.. please be GRATEFUL AND APPRECIATE MY EFFORTS ! HAHA.. this post taken up 10 mins of my time man! haha...

2006-11-21T11:11:00.000+08:00

when it comes to You,
should i say i screwed up,
or that i'm a screw up
the causes of my downfall would prolly be,cause i care too much,
or i could never accept changes
or i'm afraid of losing.
Maybe cause the world is changing ever so fast,
so i grab on to the only thing that doesn't really change,
Past, and i know it's wrong

hasnt been blogging for quite long.. haha.. lazy.. got to go!
going vivo tdy!

2006-11-13T22:24:00.000+08:00

i think awfully much.
And sometimes,i rake up the past too much,that i feel like another hurricane is coming.
coming to rack my brains again.

.. went vivo to find lorrain, amanda, Shiok Ping , regina and yihui.. haha.. i going work in vivo tangs this coming wed.. haha.. act.. my mum was like super relucant to let me work.. and she said she will pay me according if i choose to stay at home.. and i was like'' wad the hell'' ,'' are u mad or smth'', haha, but i didnt say lar.. it just went through my mind that very moment.. haha... she ask me to be super serious and not play-a-fool-.. arent i serious now?? haha..crazy! ask me stay at home , do nth, den get money?? wad rubbish is this man! haha.. in the end i still insisted that i will work and earn money myself.. haha.. i'm SUPER INDEPEDENT de lorr!! haha.. anyway, when i tell my cousinS that i going to work, they was like ''huh, serious arh? cannot play play de lehh'', '' think u better dun work lar, later halfway want quit''.. haha... i was like super dulan man.. haha.. hahaha.. i'm going to prove them wrong lorr..

haha.. went vivo de banquet eat with xiao tong, siya and pei ru.. haha.. so fun. den keep talking non stop lorr.. the JUMBO ICE KACHANG really super HUGE that kind. got a shock, den siya tot will be small that size, in the end so big lorr.. hahah.. den eat until SuPER cold lorr.. WHOLE BODY SHIVERING LIKE HELL.. haha.. yupp, tml going out with them again.. go buy things and walk walk.. haha.. think my mum is getting MORE AND MORE WORRIED about me.. i'm sick of her lorr. haha..

2006-11-09T21:55:00.000+08:00

against the tide,Im pulling back.
what hurts the most,
is being so close,and having so much to say,
and watching you walk away,and never knowing
What could have been.

2006-11-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

sigh~.. my 2nd post for the day..

i wish i could put everything i felt into words.but words fail us all sometimes.And this is one such time.
The failure of articulating.
Thats what I do best.

really really dun wish to say much..YOU happy jiu hao lorr..somehow. sometimes.................... i really want tell YOU alot of things lorr..too boring le.. being used to the present now.. really~

-
this would be the last
Hello You there,i've seen the road signs,i've heard your words ring through the air,i know how many times we've been through this,and we both know where to draw the line as it is.

take a bow.
it ain't the end,
its just the beginning to something new.

HAPPY JIU HAO!
YOU just wint know how i felt.. u will never know.

to care, to not bother,
to think of , to forget,
to run miles, to just sit ard watching,
to cry, to laugh,
to be torn, to just enjoy the fleeting moment,

sadness STILL lingers in me~

Sweet Denial

2006-11-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

You got me where You wanted.
There ain't no good in goodbyes,
Maybe, someday,
We'd find beauty in goodbye.

But Today,
I've wasted today,
For You are on my mind.

I lost You somewhere along this bitterness,
And lost myself in sweet denial.
some things should remian unsaid~

or.. my post for monday seems to be mixed up with the post on sun.. until now den i realise that i have made a mistake. haha... the happy thing abt tdy is that i did not suffer from any muscle ache or any pain. haha.. hooray! yup. tml my sis taking A'level exam.. think she so stress , study until super late , den wake up super earlt that kind.. hahaha.. sandy they all aslo taking A'level exam now.. jiayou jiayou.. haha.. since i'm not suffering from any pain, i can go out tdy man.. hahah.. act tdy going watch movie with kelliehuang and company de.. but i super lazy to go sch , coz ltr still need wait for them. in another word, i'm simply lazy.. hhahaa...

so right now, i'm at home, recuperating from the last training.. hahahah.. but going out later lar.. hahah... hahaha... lazy to blog lorr. sianz...hope u happy!

Confusion

2006-11-05T22:50:00.000+08:00

You painted a picture, happier than i can afford.
Let's get messed up and listen to probably, the best mixtape I have.

I don't know what to do,I don't know what to say anymore,I guess,I guess, I shall not continue cause somehow or another,it will lead to something,and i don't even know what is right or wrong anymore ... ~

2006-11-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where the Best thing you could do
Was the hardest thingYou've ever done
But you try to do
What's right
And I know deep down inside
That I really wanna beThere by your side

its time to say goodbye,and burnt those unsent letters,
Cause somethings are better left unsaid

Too Fast.
Too much to comprehend,As time slip through the very fingers,
That were meant to wither as time go by.

there it was,a heart to heart.
but then why,were You mentally trained not to look back,
when You walk away
.impact
as it swirls through the air. sighs~

..tdy went back to sch to take o level maths paper.. paper 1..think i wont do so well. coz i didnt really make an effort to study for it. is like kind of lose interest in this particular sub. yupp..

.. just reach home from training .. super super tired man.. my legs are giving away man, tml still have to go back sch for time practice.. think is super RIDICULOUS lorr.. sigh.. too long nv train liao. the moment i train i nearly on the court.. no kidding , no joke..

haiyor.. feeling quite pity for myself lorr. so tired.. epescially my LEGS man!! i'm kind of uncertain abt some things.. the style , the way and the behaviour of my current teammates are so different from my previous one.. last time. the way , the syle and everything we do is almost the same.. is like TWINS, TRIPLETS.. something like this. however , i still enjoy the time i spend with this current teammates..together talk crap, do nonesnse thing , but there is still a gap between me and them.

feeling super tired now man... HELP! HELP! HELP!
I"M DYING FROM EXHAUSTION!! ARGHH....

2006-11-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

it always rain so hard,
when it hurts so bad.

to care, to not bother,
to think of , to forget,
to run miles, to just sit ard watching
to cry, to laugh,
to be torn, to just enjoy the fleeting moment,

And my knees are weak
And my mouth can't speak
Fell too far this time

boring. so tired of blogging man.. maybe coz of training make me lose interest in almost everything..sigh.. but i'm working hard to earn myself a jersey next year.. so God please Bless mE! haha.. went to vist little xinyi yest. she was still the same.. playful naughty and NOISY. she doesnt seems to be suffering from CHICKEN POXES! haha.. and worst stil i was being BULLIED by her man.. haha..

just reach home not long ago.. haha.. bought a new pair of shoes yest man.. haha.. no shoes liao.. so no choice buy this pair.. haha... and i was very thankful to my aunt .. haha.. think she going broke soon. and my mum was like feeling super glad.. coz the pair of shoes was not paid by her.. i cant imagine if she was the one paying.. haha..

When i look in to your eyes,I don't see no more fear,
I see that scary determination to make damn sure,
That I would no longer be in your dictionary,
I would be in your tomorrows no more,
No more of your todays,
I would just be a part of the pastthe part that doesn't last.
And guess what,
No surprise here,
It sucks.

haha.. hahah.. sucks sucks sucks.. hahah.. cool? is meant for the person who read! haha.. loser!
think **R*A*NE* *e* is a loser! too bad... lucky this person wont get to read this post.

2006-11-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

waiting takes more time than letting go.

haha.. wad the hell. my com trip and everything that i intended to post were gone as well..
so.. just summarise evrything.. tdy went to training,it was super tired lorr. i nearly died while training.. maybe too long i hast been going and i can feel the tiredness in me man.
super tired.. need ro catch lots of sick to eran back al the sweat and everything man! haha.. going to bed soon! sorry i have been super lazy to blog man..

tiredness lingers in me! haha. tml going out to but bball shoes.. hooray!! haha.. anyway , just heard from my mum that little xinyi is down with CHICKEN POX! haha..hahha.. must go visit her lorr.. little xinyi is damm naughty yet cute!

anyway .. feel that things changes really fast ..haha.. forgive me man! i'm a lazy blogger!

2006-10-27T22:20:00.000+08:00

another turning point-a fork struck in a road. time grabs you by the wrist-directs you where to go, so make the best of this test.
and dun ask y is not a question but a lesson learned in time.
so take the photographs and still frames in your mind. Hang it on a shelf in a good health and good time.
tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
for wad it's worth it is worth all this while.
it's something unpredictable but in the end is right.
i hope you had the time of your life.
when our time is up,when our lives are done, will we say we've fun??will we make a mark for this time?will we always said we've tried?.......

there's alot of things that i understand, yet alot of things i cant explain, i believe only god can explain.

i wont change a single thing. time seems to be slippling off my fingers.

2006-10-17T14:14:00.000+08:00

People become really quite remarkable
when they start thinking that they can do things.
When they believe in themselves
they have the first secret of success.
(~ Yes! Can I can :)

nothing is impossible. impossible is nothing.
if u think u can, den u defintely can.
if u think u cant,for sure u cant!

being positive is something that i believe in.

think there is something wrong with this blog. but i cant figure out wad is wrong man. sigh. i'm a computer idioit!

stoning, stoning and stoning.
thinking, thinking and thinking.
missing, missing and missing!

Feel the rain on ur skin
No one else can feel it for u
Only u can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on ur lips
drench urself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

2006-10-17T13:39:00.000+08:00

time went by and so wounds heal

yups. hasnt been updating my blog.i'm a super lazy blogger. haha.tdy didint go sch, so i haf the time to update my blog and aslo friendster. yest was kind of busy laa.so didnt go online or do anything.. currently i'm half awake that kind laa. haha.. lazy, lazy and lazy.

think i wont be going to sch liao. maybe go just to talk and play with frens lorr. if ot think i wont be going liao. going stay at home and MUG FOR EMATHS! lol.haha.. do it sound convincing enough?? haha..

haha. think i'm super happy lorr.happier than before. dunno lehh. haha.. think life is like a mahjong game. sometimes u win, sometimes u lose..
think i gain some and lose some too. didnt really cherish last time, coz i tot i deserve it.. haha.. but it's not. somehow feel very sad and guilty.
coz i tot a fren of mine will be happy after all. but recently heard that this fren of mine isnt feeling very good.. think is on sunday bai was stoning at home and decide to msg her and ask her how was she.. think the answer i get isnt wad i expected from her la..

but i'm still the same old self lorr. didnt really change lorr.. just that some ppl dun believe me .. still think i'm that kind of person.. think explain aslo useless.. i dun want regret aslo.. but think is too late laa..

things are not going to change .. i'm moving with time, hope u all aslo..
dun stay at the same spot for too long, coz nothing is going change unless u are willing to change to fit into the situation

i realised something about this fren of mine
Something i never realised before
How her laughter sounded heavenly
and how her smiles brightened up the darkest days.

..i'm super bored! missing !

2006-10-15T15:13:00.000+08:00

yups. hasnt been posting. coz i super lazy and has no time to come online.. busy playing, going out, and enjoying.. most of all. i did enjoy these holidays. yest. went to visit my popo in the hospital. she looks alright. at least better than fri.. wad a relief!

think i'm super super lazy to blog and everything..

yest msg with a fren. she said she wasnt feeling very gd and she is suffering from mood swing. i also dunno y. but i didnt really ask her wad happened. coz if she really want to say, she'll tell me. yups. kind of kept her company till 1 plus.. den she went to slp, while i continue playing audition.

tdy. msg her again .. asking how was she. the answer she gave was still the same. BAD MOOD!

den i went online, and saw something. it wasnt pleasant and somehow when i saw it i had a bloody shock! wad the hell ! dunno who the hell go likedat do lorr. the moment i saw, i asked her again. izzit coz of ................once again her answer was NO!''i dun want noe to know''''i aslo not sad about this''..

i got a feeling that she is somehow affected by it.. just that she doesnt want me to know.. too bad den! i tried not to care..

my heart betrayed me again!like a fool i wonder if it's too late

2006-10-13T21:04:00.000+08:00

haha.. my nike dunk.. haha.. nth to say

tdy.. tdy had an enjoyable outing

sigh.. my popo has fallen ill. and is kind of serious. i did went to see her the pervious day. i could see her pain and everything. somehow i couldnt bear to her becoming likedat.. day by day.. she looks paler and paler.. i really dunno wad to do at all.. when i went to see her.. think i almost cried.. i hasnt been feeling good since the day she is ill. just received a call from my mum that they are going to admit my popo to sgh. due to her low blood pressure.. a week ago, she is perfectly fine and healthy, we was still celebrating her 73 birthday.. it's only one week and drastic things started to happen.. is like a NIGHTMARE to me.

currently, she is having diffculty to walk and her kidneys are not functioning well due to her old age..she has seek treatment from mount elizabeth hospital. and the doc said that it due to her age. that day.. during the trip to mount elizabeth hospital, it was hard and tedious task for her.. upon reaching, she couldnt walk. and she has to be wheeled in..

i really really very very very worried. really hope she will be fine soon..

sigh! BARBARA KONG IS SUPER SAD!

2006-10-12T15:34:00.000+08:00

There can be mircales
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miraclesYou can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

argh.. people are complaining that my posts are boring.. arghh.. haha.. i'm sorry.. long time didnt attend school , and it seems that my english is getting poorer and poorer.. haha.. nothin really caught my eyes these days.. and nothing really happen.. everything is going on smoothly , without any obstacles..

i wasnt been thinking lately.. because i dont feel like doing so.. i rather i remained like this.. without knowing anything..my mind is out in somewhere.. a place of .......i support the idea of freedom of speech..

hahah..i'm a boring person! haha..yupp.. back to serious thing..i'm trying to make my blog looks good kaes..If you think about what it means to feel loved, it means that someone is going to have a consistent and generous interpretation of your actions, that they are not going to trip you up because of some failing. They are not going to abandon you because you're feeling depressed or something. They are going to stick with you through thick and thin. But being like that is quite a difficult thing to do. It is also wonderful".

i really really miss something alot alot..
things wont change back..
but i'm keeping everything safely ....
hen xiang ni

你在哪里?
这些年来如意不如意?
还快乐?还单纯?还美丽?
时光如何对你?
我在这里人海中的一座岛屿很平静风
平浪静只除了深夜里回忆会疯狂来袭
我很想你
你知道吗
如果可以就让我再见你
美好微笑清澈眼睛好
确定那持离只毁了
我一个而已我很想你听见了吗?
woo~
这是唯一
我无解的困境那些过去
不肯过去
不管我后来遇见多少人
只能叹息
都不是你我只
想爱你我在哪里?
你会不会偶尔好奇?
有没有曾经怀疑?
我说我会忘记只是种好意

..... i dun be likedat.. this REALLY REALLY ISNT WAD I WANT...
IS THIS REALLY WHAT U WANT.everything has stop.

2006-10-12T14:10:00.000+08:00

dreams are like stars,there are million of them out there,but only one can make ur dreams come true

time passes so quickly.. things happen so quickly.. people change with time...

i dunno wad to say le..

2006-10-11T11:27:00.000+08:00

I am sad today
there is really nothing else to say.
Maybe one day it will go away.
I wish I had someone to talk to right now, but I don't.
Who knows maybe I never will.
Maybe that is what I feel now- a slight chill that lets me know my life will be changing soon.

舍不得我为什么说再见
能不能收回我说的每一
舍不得我为什么不忘记

You told me I could always talk to you.
The trouble is, I'm afraid of you hearing what I have to say.

2006-10-10T20:59:00.000+08:00

there is no point for hoping the things that wasnt meant to be.....
all my papers end today.. is a day to celebrate ..somehow.. i seems to celebrate it long ago..

nothing to do,nothing to say.. let everything remain unsaid...

was playing game with amanda.. i always lose lor.. dunno y she like this game so much.. so stupid.. so dumb..no choice. have to play.. super bored..

there are many things waiting for me to do yet i'm still here reminsicing the past..isnt this weird..

i'm sitiing here.. thinking, thinking and thinking.

i do enjoy ppl's company.. but this isnt what i really one..

2006-10-10T10:16:00.000+08:00

there will be no fun if everything comes easy..nothing is certain.i do fall apart sometimes.you just cant get to see..

while u're enjoying , i'm here wishing u all the best.PASSION BURNS TO SHINE.

i said nothing and simply watch.yet you assume i fell nothing.standing across the crossroad... dont know where to go, what to do.somehow.. everything seems like a hoax.

happiness and grief come in pairs.the closer i am , the further i seems to be..evrything was not a mistake. perhaps,perhaps.. i can start all over again. i wish i could.i miss the path.

SWING HERE ,SWING THERE, NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

i'm keeping the sadness for as long as i breathe.

2006-10-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

You know a dream is like a river,
ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel that must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you
and never knowing what's in storemakes each day a constant battle
just to stay between the shores.
And I will sail my vessel till e river runs dry.
Like a bird upon the wind,
these waters are my sky.
I'll never reach my destination
Too many times we stand aside and let the water slip away.
To what we put off till tml has now become today.So don't you sit upon the shore and say you're satisfied.

Do not compare, criticize nor compete!
Stop competing, start excelling!=)!
Just concentrate finishing your own race
do not cross over and look at someone else's lane.

yupp currently i'm at home stoning.. after both the physic paper and chemistry paper.. i feel super relieved..just have to baer with another few days and i can play until i drop dead!.. i hope.and i hope.. i will do well and carry on from there. though i hasnt been putting much effort in studying..but i did try to study for awhile. wih the company of frens..
yupp. erm.. yest. msg someone for awhile.. e conversation goes like this:

me: hey. gd luck for ur paper tml
someone:oh ok ok.. thanks..how's your exam
me:hai hao. best of luck tml.
someone:oh..y u say until like no confidence of yourself de.. ok..
thanks..thanks. i study until dunno wad to study liao.
me:....dunno lehh. e exam is lyk insulting our intelligence likedat.den u lehh?super confidence ah?
someone:haha .. that's means u can do very well lor:) guess so.. physic is like nth much to study ma. but chem think i die liao..
me:maybe lorr. no nid study oso can do one..super insult one. likedat oso gd la..
someone: hahah.. oh.. i hate mole concept. hai me f9 lor
me:now my mind only got MOLE CONCEPT. and physic formula. hah. pass all my bad luck to u.yeah!! den i'll do well in both physic and chem. haha..
someone:haha. no chey. everything is well store in my brain. wont forget so easily de hor.

yupp. think enough le la..is just part of the conversation that i have with someone.. think i kind of missing it.. we used to bicker and call eachother names. now, we longer talk.. rarely.. suddenly tot of the happy times..so nice so gd.. haha.. though the time is short but i still nv forget.. really lorr..u happy jiu hao!

i'm really missing something! sighs...
one moment i am content and happy..next thing i know.. landed on some sadness.life is gruesome..

The world is a dangerous place to live
, not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
~ Albert Einstein~

Sometimes I wonder why I think so far and so much.
Because the only person who suffers...is me.
"We promise according to our hopes,and perform according to our fears."- La Rochefourauld -
How true.
Too many times I've hoped for something and gotten another because fear got in the way and messed things up.
It's amazing how we let fear and worry control our lives.sighs...

2006-10-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

sianz.. nth to blog aslo.. i think i am getting sick of blogging.. super time consuming.. haha.. but still must bored alittle bit la.. blog for the sick of blogging...

2006-09-30T12:58:00.000+08:00

There's the door, take a look at it.
I can't make you go in, only you can do that for yourself.
When you finally choose to enter,
then,
what you do in there,
is totally up to you.
I can't hold your hand.

i used to wait and wait as a meditator for the ULTIMATE TRUTH OF EXISTENCE to come and plop in my lap
-I was prepared to wait forever.
Well, it never happened,
because I was living in fantasy land.
I wasn't willing to hunker down and do the work.
The truth was always there; it is always there. It's everywhere, all at once, you can't miss it.
But I did!
I was always looking for something better.
I couldn't face up to my own life,
and take in the simple beauty of it.
I couldn't take in all the pain, and sorrow....

2006-09-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

i leaf again and again through these miserable memories...
you took advantage of my disadvantage
you took advantage of my inner essential innocence
because u cheated me...
cheated me of my redemption...

i noe with absolute certainty tt i am nth to you,nothing at all... oh yes.. you enjoy talking to me, you once grown fond of the things i say and everything...
throwing open my brusied heart like this... in time gone by, many disappointment, came by my way... i felt that i was losing contact with the reality...

i once cherished and adored.. i am only trying to describe these things, not to relive them in my present boundless misery, but to sort out the portion of hell and the portion of heaven....

these days i realised that i missed alot of things... missing the happy times.. missing all the rubbish and nonsense.i tot i understand u but actually i did not. i tot u understand how i feel... but.. i was wrong..i didnt noe to u, i am hiding my character.. i am damm bloody the confused
this confusion made me downright disappointed...

tot things could be replace but i was wrong..i dun have the courage to do anything..i know i am fickle and indecisive...but i am trying hard to change though many things have change. but my heart doesnt change at all..

the mind is its own place
and in itself.
can make a heaven of hell
a hell of heaven

for where your treasure is, there will your heart be aslo..

2006-09-27T13:08:00.000+08:00

yups.staying at home again.. very long nv go sch liao... haha.
dun feel like going.. rather stay at home.. but somehow.. i miss sch quite alot..
dunno la.. self contradictory lorr..somehow.. quite miss something..

hahha.. anyway monday is the only day that i attended sch.. and it was quite boring though i talk crap almost the whole day.. and everyone tot i was mad and keep chasing me away..
hahah.. opps. i forgot.. during physic lesson.. litong and ester was playing bingo.. i went to disturb and i started playing for ester and i lost! haha .. they scolded me stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhaa

2006-09-26T14:36:00.000+08:00

heyy.. back to blogging again.. sianz.. staying at home.. doing nth..
trying hard to study . haha.. but super feel like going out and play play and play
hahah.. but cannot lar.. exam is coming.. and i am feeling the stress now.. hahaha...
quite scared.. one slip and i'll gone.. hahah

right now.. i am trying to put aside many things and think the top priority for now is to study and get gd result.. after which.. think i'm going to play untili die.. serious sia.. just two weeks of endurance and perservance.. i'll be able to play and do anything that i like liao..

yest.. went sch.. quite bored.. but guess wad the suprise thing is HO PUAY LAY.. told me that she going stay back and study in the library every day!!!! haha.. think i am super amuse and amaze bt it.. i do not expect her to say such things and she did... hahaha...think she change ba.. change for just two weeks.. hahah. i want to see how long she can take it man.. hahaha...

yupp.. i guess i must work really hard now coz time is running out.. hahah..yeah!

think my blog will no longer have any sad things and everything.. now ...everything that i write now will br happy things..

nah.. no use being sad.. if nobody know u are sad.. u rather be happy.. i have take many things to my stride and i have learn to let go many many things..
hahah.. barbara kong is a changed person!!!!!!!!!

barbara kong is matured not chidlish!!!! so stop saying i childish..
hahah!

opps. i nearly forgot.. yest during physic lesson i was being bullied and critised by ppl.. haha.. they gang up togther and say me.. arghh... quite sad sia.. i gave them say until i have nth to argue back.. haha.. i am childish or lame or rubbish lorr. everything i say makes sense!!! stop asking me to go away lorr!!!!!! esp lijun!!!!!!!!! nicole( the band one) and ester tan!!!!!!!!!! hahaha

yupp u all dun miss me sia.. i nv go sch nobody to make u all happy during physic class lorr. hahah...no more nonsense!!! haha..
think after exam i am going to buy a bird and name it lijun!!!!

hahaha.. anyway.. the song goes like this

two little useless bird sitting on the wall,
one named lijun, one named david,
fly away lijun, fly away david,
come back lijun, come back david!

2006-09-23T19:25:00.000+08:00

dunno wad to say..
dunno wad to do..
dunno wad i want..
somehow.. i just feel very lost...
things doesnt to be going the way i want it to be..

getting used to the days ..
the emptiness in my heart..
the longing as well as the missing of the things
i find it hard to follow my heart..

find this very nice.. can meant for ppl thinking of dying.. lol.. meant for refernces only

I'm Waiting for You,
Up in the Skies
When I'm gone,
don't be sad and bluefor when dreams fail
,there's tomorrow.
You know where to findme...
Look up,'Cause I'm waiting for you,up in the skies...

yupp..haha.. eh.. amanada see liao.. dun go die lehh
haha.. later i guitly..tdy reallt dun feel like blogging..
moodless.. feeling sick.................

2006-09-22T16:43:00.000+08:00

hahha.. promise amanda that i will put her photo in my blog .. hahaha.. see.. i mean wad i say lorr.. so good right.. hahaha..put ur pic here.. even though i noe u will spoilt my blog image .. but nvm la.. hahhaha.. good right.. so u aslo must say i cute....

lol

yeah! barbara kong rocks!!

haha.. anyway i think i cuter than u lorr.. please stop acting cute!! haha.. haha..t

act.. everything i say in msn is i bluff u de..haha.. just meant for enteraintment.. u dun angry me horr. haha... dun hate me ar..i'm sorr!!

2006-09-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

... halz.. back to blogging again..cant find anything to do aslo..a moment before i was reading someone blog. got alot of things to say, but i dunno how to say.. i am very bad at expressing myself .. the things tt i care alot, i dun seem to show it out. and this in turn led to many things... these few days , i have been thinking alot.. going to the awing more often than i expected.. i swing away all my troubles,sadness, and everything during the time there..

during the days i did not attend sch, many things ran through my mind.. the next few days i wont be going aslo.. except monday.. got to take back report book.. i seems to have a phobia going to sch.. i rather i stay at home..come to think of it.. i realised tt i no longer have the interest to study or even to basketball..

i really wonder..are the things i heard is true?? or wad?? am i too simple-minded??.. i did heard alot of hurting yet true things abt someone..i begin to wonder.. are u deceiving me from the start?? are the things i heard is true? are u really that kind of person?? y are u doing these things? i really dunno. however, i still chose to believe wad u say and i will change my stand abt u, until i find out the truth.. is everything ur friends say abt u is true?? before this, i still tot i used to understand u, now i am begining to have this doubt.. do i really understand u??? or do i not?? this things may seems trival to u, but it seems rather important me. i really want the truth..
even if everyhing in the past is all a bluff, i wont be angry with u or anything.. i cant imgaine u are that kind of person.. it really terrifies me. it's making me scared of u...i really cant.. i still believe u are not that type of person. i have faith .. i dun care how others say abt u, how they criticise u and ur behaviour,how they see u.. it doesnt matter to me.. coz i still have this belief that u are certainly not that kind of person which others describe u as...i believe u!

i like this song alot.. really.. i'm not missing u!...i dunno aslo.. quite miss the times without u.. cant tell u many things tt i wish u to noe.. avoiding sch to aviod u.. i dun want to see the things tt i dun wish to see.. i know u noe wad i mean..

2006-09-22T14:06:00.000+08:00

happiness isnt all that's matter.. when we look back.we'll see things in a diff perspective.maybe we shld leave it to heaven's will.if u really cherish it give it another chance.i think i'm like a failure sinking deep down into the sea.. if's that really wad u want.. i rather i dun see u..

i close my eyes and think of u .i make my way around aimlessly,smiling at the memories we share.suddenly my tears started flow.y am i gazing at the sky without saying anything.i almost could not breathe.the things now reallt terrifies me.you used to live in my heart. i think i tried giving everything i had ,w.anting to share everything together.i have to bear this pain. y me??? this broken hurt of mine hurts even more...
when u feel sad, i feel even more sad
when feel hurt, i feel even hurt..
u doesnt seem to appreciated it.. u regarded me as a..................
i am uncertain..in the end it still end in a miserable way..
i expected it. i thought there will more happy days ahead.. i was wrong .. totally wrong...
sigh... i dun deny tt i am sad and seems like everything i do, i just dun get it right..
so much so.. i avoided many things.. i still continued to breathe,eat,sleep and aslo to smile.because ppl sees me as a happy go lucky person. with no worries and everything.. after so much, i realised tt i shouldn't be so persistent in certain things and i am super fickle..i am not.. seriously, now, i am still as devoted as i used to be , still as faithful as before. i haven change. i am still the same..cant u see the bitterness in my heart??? sigh...i tried to saty happy but yet i am still in tears...

to hide my tears, i laugh out loud.
..
is there anyone that can understand ??? seeing u happily moving on, i somehow feel happy..
sometimes we gain some, sometime we lose some..think it was just my wishful thinking on my part.i sems to be sway away by emotions.somehow i am overwhemled by emotions...

2006-09-22T13:31:00.000+08:00

arghh. my com is crashing soon... is somehow being down..haiz. anyway.. think only after exam den i will repair ba.. haha.. so have to wait quite long before my next entry.. sorry!=D... yupp.. back to entry again..

yups.recently did many things with many friends.. like hanging out more often den usual.. coz i hasnt been going to sch for the past few days.. staying at home and going out at the same time.. the sad thing is i have not start my revsion at all.n my classmaes have already done so.. feeling quite stress now.. fear that i will fail and wont be promoted.. hope it wont happen.. hasnt been attending sch maybe because i want to avoid things.. kind of sick of sch and some things..
yupp. during the days i did not go sch.. i still can hear unpleasant things abt someone.. and it did somehow affect me in some way.. seeing how ppl criticrise someone, and everyhing they say seems very true. i tried not to believe because i still trust u.. i think.. maybe wad they say is true.. and everything that i have gone through may be a bluff, a lie, or even a fraud.. i dunno and i doesnt wish to know also.somehow i feel very disappointed..maybe with myself.. how could i allow myself to fall into this endless well.. am i too simple? or simply too stupid?? i am trying to get the everything right and i think i have sort out my thinking towards certain things..not going to sch is another thing ..

i hate jiayi!!!!!!!! lol.. haha..peh jia yi sucks to the core!!!!

the faraway horzion.
clouds drifting above .
a call in the pen.
mooing all e while.
longing for it's mother's face..

sadness lingers around me...

2006-09-15T15:15:00.000+08:00

... sometimes we gain some,lose some....when this door closes, the other door opens..although i knows things changes and everything i do or say u wont turn back liao..there are alot of thing stt i really wish to tell u.. i do have the urge to tell u many many things.. i have the urge to call u.. but i scared later u tell me u busy.. busy with someone else.. halz.. i didnt noe the ending is so near .. if i noe.. it think i will cherish u even more and do everything that i did not do with u.. ii really hen xiang tell u alot of things.. the things i dun dare say to u in the past an d the things i didnt do with u.. halz..the present sayz tt u are happy.. and the past say tt u are sad.... i .. noe u wasnt happy in the past..wasnt as happy as before.. ....
halz..

2006-09-15T14:34:00.000+08:00

back to todae.. yest someone tell me tt she waiting for me to blog..i think i better do so.. if not i eel super bad to let u wait. u princess somemore.. noe u been waiting to see my post to look for some................ in ur life horr. hahha.. i so gd to u.. u must reward me lorr. i want a lollipop!!!! from kovan!!!!!! k ar.. if u read liao.. den u owe me 1 lollipop from kovan,level 1.. haha..
yupp. noe yest u wasnt feeling really gd..tt's y i so gd pei u wait for ur dad to come. haha.. gd hor. super caring sia.. so u owe me another lollipop! yeah!..
now.. abt serious stuff.. i think i'm walking in circles. is like a maze.. i just cant walk out..sice the day u make the choice. i just cant stop feeling miserable.. feeling sad.. we still got alot of things haven do lorr..i think u noe wad i say..i still got alot things to tell u lorr. u make me so xinku.. is really like an endless well..
the pain has been prolonged endlessly.deep down in my heart there's a wound.
sigh..memories really comes and goes.. is so fast.. sometimes i cant follow the pace..i do feel very helpless,seeing u make the choice and moving on, really hurts me alot.. i can only accept , i cant raise any objections.however, seeing u so happy now, i feel happy for u too. think everything i do, u aslo wont turn back.. maybe to pity me .. i dun want u to pity me.. really.. is okay..just cant help feeling sad..
let everything remain unsaid..
now tt u r happy.. the next few blog will no longer contain anything........

2006-09-15T14:05:00.000+08:00

sianz..my com is down these few days..quite sad.. sianz..
start from sat.. went changi beach with frens.. super nice..super shiok aslo..
dunno y i jus cant stop feeling sad for no reason.. just stare at the water and stoned there for quite long.. super sorry sia.. let u just sit there and stone with me.. lol.. haha.. sat was quite boring.. yupp. somebody msg me tt day just as i was on my way home.. while my fren go tuition at kovan.. yupp.back to the msg.. dunno y jus feel very down.. maybe is u ba..dunno y u will msg again.. tot u wont liao.. tot i tell u liao.. i aslo dunno. u tot i hate u.. but act i did not. didnt i tell u so.. halz.. this month is fill with sadness and disappointed.. seriously. just feel......................
act still got alot of things to write abt.. but sat pass quite long liao.. i kind of forget some things..think sat is jus a bad day for me.. i guess... todae is fri and i am still blogging the things i did on sat.. weird sia me.. halz.. maybe ... maybe... and maybe.. i am simply too stupid to understand certain things ba..

2006-09-07T15:31:00.000+08:00

....nth to do.. staring into blank spaces again.... thinking.. thinking and thinking...
jus nw sms amanda..hahaha.. yest tot u say u not touched?? only got abit sad.. den in your sms u say u touched... super contradicting lorr! hahah.. dunno lehh.. somehow i just feel tt way.. seeing how ppl behave and seeing how they react to different situation..standing there see ppl do this do tt and everything.. haha..sometimes i really disagree to their way of handling certain things but i do not have the right to interfere or comment.. is their choice and they made the decision themselves .whatever the outcome is,they have to accept and learn from it... get the point?.. ppl often take certain things for granted.it's only when they lost it,they then realise the importance of it.that's human's nature...i think i am one of the guilty ones coz.. i am super fickle in many things.. the things i desire and so on.. i tend to give it up at the crucial moment and regret after a few's day of thinking.. but is alr too late. we cant turn back things or expect the things to turn up the way we want. is rather impossible..yups..i am waiting for a breakthrough..i dun want to feel lost and disappointed anymore.. serious.

[ALL]
all i want is to be remembered.
all i want is to be recongized
all i want is to be named
all i want is to be the one you will remember
all i want is to be a page you flip back to.
all i want is to have a happy memory.
............all i want is to be...................

yups.do hope that ppl have the same thinking as i have now..a week of hoilday makes me tot of many things.in sch..seeing how my friends react to certain things,and seeing some breaking down through the process,and some suffering in silence make me wanting the think hard.. and maybe reflect..hey guy.. dun despair, move on with hope and live your sch life the fullest u can!!!!!! happy jiu hao..many will think that they are sick of sch,sick of exam,sick of competing with others,sick of their frens and sick of themselves.. i'm also one of them.. trying to runaway to a place of no exam,no stress,no hurt.no quarrel,no sch.. yups...i think..........

i'm sore.i'm tired.
i don't want to do
i want to give up.
i don't want do anything
i want to live my life.
i want to love what i live.
i'm sore.i'm tired.
i don't want betrayal
i don't want denial.i don't want lies.
i want truth.i want happiness.
i want HOPE.
my eyes have been drained of life.
my body exhausted.
my hope and spirit whittled down.little by little.
i want hope.
the hope in my eyes has slowly faded away
.i want hope.
the hope in my heart has been chizzled away
.i need hope
.the hope in my head has melted away.
lost in a material world.

i happen to read this in one of the books tt my sis bought.. amusing right??
haha..this is how i feel aslo. i no longer have the faith and hope i have in the past.no confidence in almost everything i do. i am scared of making decison coz i fear i make the wrong one. i dun want regret anymore.. i'm trying to stay happy and hopeful.. waiting for certain things to return back to me...yups.tdy very bored.. dun feel like going out with one of my new fren.. prefer to stayat home and stone.weird right???anyway my elder sis is a committed christian and out of curiousity i often flip open her bible and start reading.. lol.. lame hobbies right.. but i do learn alot things.. has this answered touy question???(mrs goh and real).. hahah..

ppl tot me that goodbyes will always hurt.pictures will never replace having been there.memories tt are good and bad will brings tears.and words can nv replace feelings.

2006-08-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

haha.. this few daes haven haf the chance to go online.. super busy sia..

now back to blogging again..think many things change liao and it seems to become worst and worst.i think is because ppl do change,and it somehow affected me ..i oso dunno y.

anyway.. let everything end here la. y bother to carry on if there is no reason to do so at all.

let all unhappiness go away and move on ba.just move on la..

infact i dosent like us to end up like this. noe we cant be frens and the chances of becoming frens

is nearly impossible..nth we could do,no matter how hard u try, i try or anything. HAPPY JIU HAO! bear no grudges,no hatred and everything.

i happen to read this in a book and it goes like this

Moutain of God

Thought that I was all alone Broken and afraid But You were there with me Yes, You were there with me And I didn't even know That I had lost my way But You were there with me Yes, You were there with me 'Til You opened up my eyes I never knew That I couldn't ever make it Without You Even though the journey's long And I know the road is hard Well, the One who's gone before me He will help me carry on After all that I've been through Now I realize the truth That I must go through the valley To stand upon the mountain of God As I travel on the road That You have lead me down You are here with me Yes, You are here with me I have need for nothing more Oh, now that I have found That You are here with me Yes, You are here with me I confess from time to time I lose my way But You are always there To bring me back again Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from And the things I've left behind But of all I've had, what I possessed Nothing can quite compare With what's in front of me With what's in front of meI was regretting the pastand fearing the future.Suddenly my Lord was speaking:My name is I AM." He paused.I waited. He continued.When you live in the past, with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WAS. When you live in the future,With its problems and fears,it is hard. I am not there.My name is not I WILL BE.When you live in this moment,It is not hard. I am here.My name is I AM.if there's ever a chance, I'd like to minimize all the screened windows and maximizethe open onesit'd be nice to fall out of the gaping window, into the breezeonly to find that flying has always been possiblethough not expected, if everwe only dream of some dreams escaping our minds and flirting with real timewhat I dream of confirms negation and grips probabilityand still there are hopes & goals [dreams?] that see fit to be fit and we all sayin time, in time, in time.in time.ok, fine: I want to fall out ten windows, seize ten dreams... but looselyfor flying.

understand?bet u dun!